Tonje Bakang
Producer
Entrepreneur
Business Coach & Mentor
- 01:54 Accessing psychological freedom through entrepreneurship
- 11:14 Vulnerability and openness to others create opportunities
- 17:53 The importance of letting yourself be “challenged” by others
- 19:52 Partner quickly to find the right people – even if it means having difficult conversations!
- 22:19 The first steps towards self-knowledge
- 24:32 Being happy by detaching yourself from validation and the gaze of others
Stella BIDA, in conversation with Tonjé BAKANG, Producer, Entrepreneur, Coach & Business Mentor
Summarised conversation transcript
This is a summarized version of the conversation. You’ll find even more details and tips shared in the video.
Tonjé BAKANG is an Entrepreneur and Producer. He is also a Business Coach and Mentor.
STELLA BIDA: Welcome to this new conversation. Today I’m welcoming Tonjé Bakang. Tonjé is an entrepreneur and a producer. He founded Afrostream, a platform for broadcasting content to Africa and its diasporas. We’ll find out more in the next few minutes. Welcome, Tonjé!
TONJÉ BAKANG: Thank you for welcoming me. I am happy to share this moment with you and your audience, and I hope I can inspire some of you.
STELLA BIDA : I’m sure of it! Tonjé, what did I forget to mention about you as an introduction?
TONJÉ BAKANG: Today, I position myself more as an Entrepreneur and a Mentor. I’m a creative person who decided to use entrepreneurship to get closer to my dreams. When I have time, I try to share my experience with those around me, so they avoid making the same mistakes I did.
Accessing psychological freedom through entrepreneurship
STELLA BIDA: What is the common denominator around everything you do? Where do you find the drive to always pursue the dreams you have?
TONJÉ BAKANG: That’s a very interesting question that I recently revisited. I understood why I was an entrepreneur, and why I’ve always been an entrepreneur. For me, entrepreneurship is a way to access my psychological freedom. I feel less like I’m constantly seeking validation from others. From someone else who, no matter what I might have accomplished, won’t consider me, or won’t consider me enough to make me feel comfortable. I’ve always preferred to be an entrepreneur, to create my own space, and to try to bring other people along with me. To answer your question succinctly, I become an entrepreneur to preserve my mental health.
STELLA BIDA: You speak with great certainty. How did you become so certain of what you can bring to the table? Did you have any difficulties discovering it?
TONJÉ BAKANG: I feel like we’re getting people used to putting up with mistreatment, accepting disrespect, working in anxiety, going to work with butterflies in my stomach. This is something I refused very early in my life. I didn’t know what I was going to bring to the world, I knew what I was going to bring to myself. The way forward for me was first to pursue this passion for storytelling. This passion was the driving force behind my personal development, and my entry into the world of entrepreneurship. But the first thing I was trying to resolve was my personal well-being, in order to be aligned with myself. Maybe being aligned with myself won’t allow me to bring products or value to the market. But at least the first person I was saving was myself.
STELLA BIDA : Was there an event that allowed you to take this direction? At what point do you make the decision to remain anchored in your values, anchored in your projects, without being distracted by the constraints of society?
TONJÉ BAKANG: In my case, it was at a very young age. At the age of 14, I knew roughly what fields I wanted to pursue. It wasn’t yet entrepreneurship, but it was the idea of creating and producing stories. I think that when you’re in high school or college, it’s the best time to get started and take risks, because you have very few constraints. It’s much harder to reprogram yourself when you’re 40 or 35. Some people are more resistant to change. But it’s still entirely possible. In my case, it was a conscious choice during my adolescence, and it guided the rest of my life.
Vulnerability and openness to others create opportunities
STELLA BIDA : Tonjé, I remember the wonderful article you wrote about your Afrostream experience. It’s full of lessons, and I was struck by your openness and spontaneity. What role did this openness or vulnerability play in your progress? Did it open any doors for you?
TONJÉ BAKANG: I think I’m not trying to play a role. I’m truly myself. When I open up and communicate, whether with my friends or strangers, it allows me to touch something really strong and sensitive in them. In this connection, which is created quite quickly, there are two beneficiaries: the one who expresses themselves and the one who receives. This openness, this authenticity, the fact that I allow myself to be vulnerable, has offered me opportunities. This is the case because they create trust. It’s this trust between two individuals that opens up opportunities.
The importance of letting yourself be "challenged" by others
STELLA BIDA : What can we do to be clear about our intentions? Do we find them in our hearts? How do we define them? Is it in relation to others?
TONJÉ BAKANG: We can filter them. A question I often like to ask myself when I make a certain key decision or when I launch projects is: “Am I doing it out of ego or not?” There’s always an element of ego, but how important is that element? Are you doing it for yourself, or are you trying to prove something to someone? It’s not the same thing at all. Most people try to prove things to others. This leads us to not always make the best decisions. As an entrepreneur, I’m also concerned by this. But I try to make sure that this happens as little as possible. I talk with my colleagues, my partners, giving them the opportunity to challenge me. Ego can be a driving force when the obstacles are countless, but it can also be a hindrance.
Partner quickly to find the right people - even if it means having difficult conversations!
STELLA BIDA : How do you find the right people to surround yourself with?
TONJÉ BAKANG: I think it’s really difficult to find the right partners. What I like to do when I meet someone I like is to quickly join forces with them. I don’t hide my nature, I don’t hide who I am, in my qualities and my flaws. That way, if this adventure ever has to end, it will happen quickly. Even if it means having difficult conversations! The important thing is to set up small pilot collaboration projects before moving on to larger projects.
The first steps towards self-knowledge
STELLA BIDA: Tonjé, where do you start to discover and know who you are?
TONJÉ BAKANG: I think it starts with conversations with coaches. Start with conversations with someone you hire, someone who isn’t family. This person isn’t part of your circle of friends, and you pay them to challenge you, tell you the truth, and push you out of your comfort zone. Very quickly, this person will help you open your eyes to who you are. I think it’s an investment that many people underestimate. Investing in yourself, investing in understanding yourself, your personal and professional desires. Many people are unaware of the true qualities they can draw on to create. Culturally, they’ve been taught that talking about themselves is taboo, and introspection is for others. An entire generation is missing out on its life. It’s a shame.
Being happy by detaching yourself from validation and the gaze of others
STELLA BIDA : If you had “baby Tonjé Bakang” in front of you, being born, what would you say to him?
TONJÉ BAKANG: I would tell her that my role will be to give her self-confidence, so that she doesn’t have to depend on validation and the gaze of others, in order to be happy. I think this is a conversation that will last perhaps 18 or 20 years.
I see it in my clients who take me on as a mentor. I think that today, people no longer want to suffer in silence.
Today I invite people to consult: psychologists, mentors, coaches, so that they become aware of this suffering, it is not normal. And we have not been taught to do introspection, to go and talk or confide this discomfort to professionals. Much of this pain comes from the fact that such and such an organization does not consider us, and that we are waiting for validation from other people.
What I would advise my offspring is to be respectful, and not to wait for validation from other people to have self-confidence.
STELLA BIDA : Thank you for your time, for being with us today. How can those who want to know more about what you do contact you?
TONJÉ BAKANG: They can go to my website: www.tonje-bakang.com . There are lots of videos on what I think about life, about entrepreneurship.
STELLA BIDA : You are clearly a Leader of Excellence! Thank you, see you soon!
—
More information about Tonjé BAKANG: www.tonje-bakang.com
Share your insights with us!
What did you enjoy? How do you think that this will help you in making your life and career vision happen?
We’d love to hear from you!